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I Am in A Period of Desperation

from Bildungsroman by Hiperson

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lyrics

The room contains the dusk
and the city contains aimless flies
What my heart contains
Went away I don’t know when
I have entered a period of desperation

I can’t convince myself
that there is something that is unchanging, reliable and lasts forever
I can’t find it
the sun that I used to imagine
The sun that drives out the night doesn’t appear at night, I know
The sun that drives out the night doesn’t appear at night, I know

It is neither inside nor outside
I’m like an orphan who cannot find home
or imagine it
It is neither inside nor outside
I’m like someone born blind who cannot see you
let alone describe what you look like

It is neither inside nor outside
no one writes poetry in desperation
It is neither inside nor outside
no one writes poetry in desperation:
I defiled you

房间里装着黄昏
城市里装着无头的苍蝇
我心里装的东西
不知道在什么时候不翼而飞
我进入了绝望的时期

我无法说服自己
什么东西可以恒久不变，值得信赖
我无法找到它：
以前我想象中一颗太阳
驱散夜晚的太阳在夜里不出现，我知道
驱散夜晚的太阳在夜里不出现，我知道

里面也没有，外面也没有
我像一个孤儿找不到家
找不到对家的想象
里面也没有，外面也没有
我像一个天生的盲人看不见你
说不出你可能的样貌

里面也没有，外面也没有
从来没有绝望的人会写诗
里面也没有，外面也没有
从来没有绝望的人会写诗：
我玷污了你

credits

from Bildungsroman, released July 24, 2020

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Maybe Mars Beijing, China

Recording our time. (2007 - now)

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